


Who Are You

by Charlotte_Lancer



Series: "Write The Story" prompt drabbles [3]
Category: Stargate Atlantis
Genre: Concussions, Friends to Lovers, Friendship, Humor, M/M, Medical Inaccuracies, Mild Angst, Not Actually Unrequited Love, Not Beta Read, Slow Burn, Temporary Amnesia, Unrequited Love, accidental confessions, no homophobia though, set during dadt, so some of the usual tension that goes along with that
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-09-28
Updated: 2018-09-30
Packaged: 2019-07-18 18:23:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,254
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16124174
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Charlotte_Lancer/pseuds/Charlotte_Lancer
Summary: For the prompt "The main character has amnesia."





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Yeesh, at this point I should just rename the prompt book series "AnJ writes the cliches." Anyway, I woke up at 03:00, wrote the first chapter, and immediately went back to sleep, so if it's more weird and ooc than usual, that's why. Also, I know nothing about medical science, so all medical statements in this are nothing more than shameless plot devices.

When Rodney woke up, he definitely wasn't in his own bed. No, he was in a hospital of some sort, which was concerning, since the last thing he remembered was arguing with Major Carter, and he was pretty sure he hadn't upset her  _ that  _ much. He couldn't tell much from the hospital room itself; some of the equipment looked different than he was used to, but overall it was just another bland hospital room.

 

A slight snore from beside him alerted him to the fact that he wasn’t alone in the room, and with some difficulty he turned far enough to look at the figure slumped in the chair next to the bed. The way the man was leaning meant that the U.S. flag on his shoulder was directly visible, and between that and the gun holstered to the man’s leg Rodney was reasonably certain he was a soldier. Who he was, and what he was doing in Rodney’s hospital room, however, was another matter entirely.

 

The man didn’t look the slightest bit familiar to Rodney. He couldn’t see much of his face, but he would definitely remember someone with hair that messy.

 

Rodney shifted again, and he must have set off some sort of sensor, because a doctor, whom he also could not remember ever seeing before, hurried into the room.

 

“Rodney, it’s good that you're awake. How are you feeling. You should be fine soon, but a stunner to the head can’t be pleasant.”

 

A stunner? Rodney had to brush up on his international slang. He glanced to his left to see if the now-awake mystery man could offer any clarification, and at Rodney’s questioning look, he began to explain;

 

“You got hit while we were off-world. A dart came out of nowhere, and you got hit while pushing Teyla out of the way.”

 

Maybe they were new codes for something. He wouldn’t put it past the American military to come up with some bizarre incomprehensible system for no good reason, and just expect everyone to somehow know it automatically.

 

“Right. Could I have that in English, Doctor, er…” there was no nametag to be found on his lab coat, so Rodney settled for a vague hand gesture that hopefully got his point across, especially seeing as there was only one medical doctor in the room. Well, presumably the soldier wasn't a doctor on the side, but who knew when it came to the SGC.

 

The doctor and the soldier exchanged concerned looks, and now Rodney was annoyed.

 

“Look, if there's something wrong with me just tell me, but I've had it with the secrecy!”

 

The doctor’s frown deepened. “Rodney, what's the last thing you remember before waking up here?”

 

“I was arguing with Major Carter, but seeing as that doesn't usually land me in the hospital, I can’t see how that matters.”

 

The soldier looked surprised by that. “ _ Major  _ Carter?”

 

“Look, if you're going to write me up for disrespecting the chain of command, or whatever it is you're here to do, can it at least wait until someone tells me why I’m in the hospital? Without the codes?” he looked over the soldier again, and he didn't seem to have any papers on him. “Why are you here, anyway? And who are you?”

 

They exchanged looks again. The doctor nodded.

 

The soldier sat up straight, and gestured to the doctor. “That's Dr. Carson Beckett. He’s the CMO for this infirmary, and the direct supervisor for your case. I'm Colonel John Sheppard, USAF, and I'm not here to write you up for something that happened at least four years ago.”

 

Well, that was good anyw- “Four years?! What the hell happened that I've been in a coma for four years?” He had four years of work to catch up on, and four years of new technology to go over, and oh god had anyone told Jeannie what happened to him and-

 

“Nothing. You've been unconscious for about an hour and a half.” Said the soldier, no, Colonel Sheppard.

 

Dr. Beckett continued with, “you seem to be suffering from amnesia as a result of a recent head trauma. It’ll likely clear up within the next twenty-four hours, but for safety's sake I’d like to keep you here until then.” Rodney found himself nodding in agreement before he could really process what he was doing, but something about the doctor told Rodney he could trust him. “I've got to prepare a few more tests for you, now that you're awake, but I'm sure the colonel would be more than happy to keep you company until then.” With that, the doctor exited the room, leaving Rodney alone with the colonel in question.

 

“So, four years, huh?” The colonel nodded. “Have I won a Nobel prize yet?”

 

A pained laugh escaped the colonel, and Rodney couldn't understand what he'd said wrong.

 

“Sorry, it’s just,” the colonel paused, considering, “you just sounded so…  _ the same _ … that for a second…” He trailed off and took in a deep breath before letting in out again. “No, you haven't won the Nobel prize yet, though I'm sure you would if you could publish your work.”

 

Ah, more secrecy for the SGC. “Well, anything else I should know about, surely something important has happened in the last four years?”

 

The soldier looked pained again, which was unfortunate, because he was actually pretty good looking when he relaxed.  _ And where did that thought come from? So far he hadn't seen anything other than concern on his face.  _

 

“More than I could possibly explain in the time it'll take Carson to get the tests ready. Carter’s a colonel now, though, so there's that. And you're CSO, and you're on a gate team now. My gate team, actually. That's why I was here, to make sure you were alright.”

 

_ A gate team?  _ Rodney wasn't sure he'd heard right. CSO, obviously, he’d have been more concerned if he wasn't CSO, after apparently four years, but last he could remember he’d had absolutely no desire- or chance- to set foot through a gate. It just didn't seem plausible, even if the colonel was looking at him all earnestly, and wow that was a good look on him, and, oh, what was that feeling in his chest, and why did his heart stop when the colonel started to smile at him, and-

 

“Am I in love with you?” and Rodney must be way more concussed than he thought to let something like that slip out, especially to American military, and judging by the quickly darkening look on his face, that was exactly the wrong thing to say. “I don’t know why I said that! Can we please just forget that I said anything?”

 

“Rodney,” his voice was firm, and Rodney figured be was really in for it this time. “Rodney, you're my best friend.” That wasn't really where he’d expected that to go. “My best friend, and my teammate. We know each other pretty well at this point. Frankly I would have had to have been blind to not have noticed before, so you really don't need to be freaking out right now.”

 

“So I'm not going to get court-martialed? Or fired? Or anything like that?”

 

A smile twitched onto the colonel’s face again. “I don’t think they can court-martial the civilian scientists, Rodney, and no, you don’t need to worry about getting fired, either.”

 

One less thing to worry about, then. That only left, oh, everything else that had happened in the last four years of his life.

 

“So where are we? This doesn't look anything like the SGC infirmary.”

 

“Technically this is  _ an  _ SGC-operated infirmary, just not the one you're used to.”

 

“You're hiding something, colonel, just tell me. Did I get reassigned to Russia? Is that why it’s so cold in here?” The colonel looked around, clearly trying to figure out how to avoid the question. As he looked around he shifted enough for Rodney to catch a glimpse of the patch on his other shoulder- he wasn’t able to recognise it from it’s brief exposure, and it definitely wasn’t one he had seen before. Between that and the unfamiliar hospital room, it was looking more and more likely that he had been reassigned. Now if he could just get the colonel to tell him where they were. He voiced as much.

 

“It’s hard to explain. Not whether you were reassigned, that’s a straight ‘no’, you volunteered for this position, but where we are exactly isn’t as easy to answer.”

 

From the colonel’s reluctance to answer- and what did he say his name was again?- Rodney could only assume they were somewhere through the gate. He couldn’t think of anywhere on Earth that would bring about such secrecy, given his clearance levels and past positions.

 

“We’re not on Earth, are we?”

 

The colonel sighed in defeat, before giving up and saying, “No, we’re not. We’re on Atlantis.”


	2. Chapter 2

Atlantis. Somehow when Colonel Sheppard said they were in Atlantis, Rodney wasn’t surprised. He couldn’t tell if that meant he was starting to remember more, or if he was just to used to all manner of strange and unprecedented things happening to and around him. He hoped it wasn’t the latter; he’d really like to remember more of the last four years of his life than that he was attracted to his friend, who apparently did not feel the same way. Not that Rodney would have expected anything else, really, if he hadn’t been still half-dazed from whatever he done to his head. What had he done to his head, anyway? He still hadn’t been told what a stunner was.

 

“Are you alright, McKay?” Colonel Sheppard asked after another moment of quiet. “I know it’s a lot to take in, bu-”

 

“What’s a stunner?”

 

To his credit, Sheppard looked unsurprised by the sudden change of subject. “Wraith weapon. Knocks you out but doesn’t kill you.”

 

_ Wraith _ . The word brought forth a sickly shade of green in Rodney’s mind, but for some reason he couldn’t pull any more details from the memory. Just green, and a vague sense of fear.

 

Rodney's attempts to jog his own memory were interrupted by Dr. Beckett returning to the room, an small device held in one hand, and a data pad in the other. He ran the scanner over Rodney, raising an eyebrow at the data it gave him. Another sweep, and a small frown joined the raised eyebrow before being quickly hidden, but not before Rodney saw it. A frowning doctor was rarely a good sign, in Rodney's experience. He couldn't see how this could get much worse, though.

 

“It looks like 24 hours might have been an overly optimistic estimate. It seems that it may take quite a bit longer for your memory to fully return.” Oh, right, that's how. “Aside from the obvious, you're in perfect health, and you can be released from the infirmary if you'd like. No working, though, and absolutely no going off world.”

 

Rodney nodded, eager to leave the hospital room and return to his own quarters.  _ As long as he could get someone to show him where said quarters were, of course _ .

 

He stilled, thrown off by the realization that he had no idea where anything was here. He was on another base, on another planet. A voice in the back of his mind whispered  _ another galaxy, too _ , but until he saw proof that he wasn't in the Milky Way, he was going to calmly pretend that everything was normal. Well, as normal as things could be when you woke up to suddenly find yourself on another planet.

 

It was times like these that Rodney regretted not becoming a pianist.

………………

It had turned out that Colonel Sheppard knew where Rodney’s quarters were, and was more than willing to show Rodney to them. But not before, at the Colonel’s own insistence, they stopped by the cafeteria.

 

Once the subject of food was brought up, Rodney realized just how hungry he was. So far any thoughts of food had been drowned out by the abject terror of what his life had apparently become in the last four years, but once those thoughts had been safely shoved to the back of his mind, he felt almost dizzy from hunger. Clearly four years hadn't done anything to get rid of his hypoglycemia. Though maybe it had done something for his citrus allergy? He voiced as much to Colonel Sheppard, who laughed quietly at the question.

 

“Sorry, Rodney, but you still won't be eating a lemon anytime soon. You'll just have to stick to the-" and here Sheppard named off a dish Rodney had never heard of, followed by a description that Rodney only understood half of.

 

And that there was the one good thing to come out of this situation; all of the food here would be new to him again, at least for a little while. Though maybe if he could get Colonel Sheppard to tell Rodney what he usually ate, some memories might start to come back to him.

 

Rodney decides to save that plan until layer. As they went through the food line, Rodney spooned a small amount of each offering onto his tray, save for the one that Sheppard had physically stopped him from reaching for, quietly explaining that it contained an alien fruit similar enough to a citrus that Rodney probably shouldn't risk it.

 

The table they sat at seemed distantly familiar for a moment, but the feeling passed before Rodney could focus on it. As he took in the view he was briefly overcome with a fleeting sense of joy and relaxation, as if it was something he often felt in this exact spot.

 

As the sensation faded, and he focused back to reality to find Colonel Sheppard smiling at him from across the table, he felt like he had a pretty good idea where those associations came from. 

 

Despite the fact that he had only consciously known the man across from him for about an hour, he felt comfortable with him. Their easy banter in the walk to the cafeteria only cemented in Rodney’s mind the fact that they were apparently good friends. He hoped that even if his memories didn’t return, they'd be able to rebuild what they had. The Colonel certainly didn't seem opposed to it, joking with Rodney as if nothing had changed between them. 

 

Rodney was glad that the Colonel seemed unbothered by his earlier slip-up in the infirmary, as he was now reasonably certain of his feeling for the man. Rodney wondered how obvious he'd been before, for Sheppard to have been so utterly unsurprised by Rodney basically announcing it to him. Hopefully it wasn't so obvious to everyone, though it was probably too much to hope for that the rest of their team didn't know.

 

_ Team _ . Sheppard had said they were on a team, and that the team had been attacked. A cold wave of dread surges through him, tangled with an overwhelming concern for these people he didn’t know.  _ Taylor _ . Rodney was pretty sure Sheppard had mentioned someone named Taylor.

 

“You said there was some sort of attack. With… darts?... I think? What happened to everyone  else?” He hoped that they were alright. Somehow he felt like he knew them already, yet at the same time they were complete strangers to him. His concern doubled when he remembered that he hadn't seen anyone else in the infirmary.

 

“Wraith darts, yeah,” Sheppard said, nodding, “they're like fighter jets, basically, but worse. The rest of the team- Teyla and Ronan, I'll introduce you to then later- are fine. The dart was pretty damaged by the time it caught up to us, and the pilot was down to hand weapons. You got hit while pulling Teyla out of the way of what’s basically the universe’s most effective stun-gun.”

 

Sheppard said it so casually, but Rodney was once again thrown completely. Not only was he on a gate team, he had  _ saved  _ someone. He couldn't quite imagine what had happened in the last four years, but the rush of protectiveness that surged over him, and the twitch of his hand toward a weapon that wasn’t there, told him that quite a lot had changed.

  
_ You're in another galaxy _ , has brain whispered,  _ of course a lot has changed _ .


	3. Chapter 3

The rest of their meal was eaten in a comfortable silence, but apparently Rodney's brain wasn't going to let him forget about the whole potentially-in-another-galaxy things, so when Sheppard showed Rodney back to his quarters, Rodney took a moment to resign himself to his fate, and asked Sheppard the one question about his life that he  _ really  _ didn’t want an answer to.

 

“Are we in another galaxy?” He asked, bracing slightly for the answer he almost  _ knew  _ was coming.

 

“Yes, we’re in the Pegasus Galaxy. How could you possibly have known that?” Sheppard looked up to meet his gaze, the barest hint of hope visible in his eyes.

 

“I don’t know, I just…” What? Felt like they were in another galaxy? Rodney knew how ridiculous that sounded, but he couldn’t find any other way to explain it. He sighed. “I still have all my memories  _ somewhere _ , I just can’t access most of them. But it’s like a few of them are just hovering just out of reach, and every now and then I can see one, just for a second. Or feel one, as bizarre as that sounds.” Rodney sat down on the edge of his bed, pleasantly surprised by how soft it was. At least this other galaxy had decent mattresses.

 

“Is there any pattern to what you remember?” Sheppard closed the door as he asked, sealing off their conversation from any passers-by who still happened to be wandering the hall for some reason at this hour.

 

Rodney shook his head. “Not really. I’m pretty sure that wraith are green and that I’m usually armed, though, and I’m pretty sure the reason for the latter is because of the wraith.”

 

John nodded along with Rodney’s assessment of his memories, confirming each point in turn. “Anything else?” He asked, when Rodney stopped talking.

 

Rodney tried to pretend that there was nothing else, but between the look on the Colonel’s face, and the fact that Rodney had never been good at lying to people who knew him well, he was forced to relent.

 

He let his eyes wander around the room for a moment, but when none of the furniture offered him a way out of this conversation, Rodney steeled himself, and looking back at the Colonel, he said,

 

“I remember that I’m in love with you.” It was a definite now; there was no more question in Rodney’s mind that his feelings for the Colonel went beyond platonic affection. He waited for the inevitable rejection, or a list of reasons why that was wrong, or even any response at all, but none was forthcoming.

After a long silence, Sheppard sat down next to him on the bed, and laid a hand over Rodney’s knee. “I know, buddy. I know.” The silence that followed seemed to stretch on forever, and Rodney was painfully aware of every point of contact between them. When, after what seemed like it could have been hours, Sheppard made no motion to move away, Rodney leaned against him just a little further. The way Sheppard pressed back, placing himself firmly against Rodney’s side, told Rodney everything he needed to know.

 

They were both so, so screwed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry that this is such a short one. It was originally a part of chapter 2, but it just felt like it needed to be a separate piece.


End file.
